By Collette DeBenetello
There are certain moments in life that stay with you forever. The first time you threw a baseball, the first time you rode a bike, the first time you went camping in the great outdoors—and the s’mores that went with them . . . mmm . . . s’mores . . . oh wait. Sorry. For a second, I forgot who I was writing for. Anyway, what do all of these amazing experiences have in common? They were shared with the man, the myth, the legend—your dad!
And not only is June 17th the day to celebrate the old boy, but the week leading up to Father’s Day is Men’s Health Week—the time of the year when we raise awareness of preventable health problems in men. So maybe it’s the time to get Dad those golf clubs he’s been itching for, and encourage him to have that doctor checkup he’s been putting off since the Clinton Administration. That way, you can celebrate Father’s Day for many more years to come.
But I can almost hear you dads out there saying, “Hey, get back to the golf clubs part.” So let’s do it. It’s time to give back to Dad and show him thanks for all those years he put up with Slayer’s Reign in Blood album blasting from your bedroom stereo. Dads come in all shapes and sizes, so how do you know what the right gift is for your patron? We’re here to help!
- Peter Griffin. Is your dad a real Family Guy whose favorite pastime is sitting on the couch and watching TV? This Father’s Day, let him keep the boob tube, but lose the man boobs by pressing play with Power 90®. This home fitness program, Tony Horton’s precursor to P90X®, will have your dad losing pounds and dropping inches. And he doesn’t have to be Chuck Norris (also a father) to enjoy the program. You’re giving your dad the gift of fitness and a positive lifestyle. If 90 days of workouts isn’t his thing (yet), give your dad a gentle nudge and take him on a hike, shoot hoops, or play catch. Soon he won’t be able to rest his beer on his rapidly diminishing gut, so add some coasters in there for an added bonus!
- Mike Brady. If your dad is like Mr. Brady, then he was probably cool in the ’70s, but his bellbottoms and perm have since become outdated. Bring him into the 21st century with a heart rate monitor or a pedometer. Always on the go, he’ll be able to keep track of his calories and/or steps while staying busy.
- Evel Knievel. Do you have a daredevil of a dad? Is his idea of fun white water rafting, skydiving, or jumping the Grand Canyon? Since he likes to live on the edge, give your extreme dad the extreme home fitness program, P90X. This program is a great way to train for those extreme sports that your dad lives for. Then, when it’s time to show off his strength and skills on the mountain bike or the hike of his choice, go with him! You’ll share an endorphin high, and some quality bonding time as well.
- Jay Pritchett. In your Modern Family, your dad is the ultimate guy’s guy. His idea of a great idea is kicking back with his football buddies, watching the game, and enjoying some good old-fashioned bromance time. Give him a set of golf clubs or golf shoes, so that he can spend quality time with his friends and take the trash talking from the living room to the great outdoors. Or perhaps if he’s a grill master, you could get him a stainless steel grill set for the summer barbeques ahead.
- Mr. Miyagi. Sometimes, important mentors may not be connected to you biologically. Maybe now is a good time to give them props, too. A card or lunch would probably mean the world to them, but a small gift wouldn’t hurt, either. With summer here, get him a pair of sunglasses, so that he can stay protected whether he’s on the beach, on a bike ride, or waxing the car.
- Tony Soprano. Running a crime family is hard work. There are people to be paid, garbage companies to pretend to own, and a great deal at stake. For the stressed out dad, give the gift of Tai Cheng™. Maybe if he got his Zen on, he’d mellow out. This workout program will revitalize his mobility, agility, and vitality. While you’re at it, throw in the RumbleRoller®, so that your dad can foam roll his worries away.
But more than any of these things, this Father’s Day, give the gift you know your dad would love that money can’t buy—time with you. OK . . . and the golf clubs.